Tuesday, May 13, 2008

The Belly!

FYI: This post contains 'p' related stuff, belly pictures, and stuff about weight. I will also preface this by saying that I know how INCREDIBLY lucky I am to be in the situation I am in right now!! Trust me; I am thankful every single day. My struggle with infertility has been easy compared to what so many others have had to go through.

I had my monthly OB appointment this morning. I had blood taken for my AFP test and heard the awesome little heartbeat. My next appointment is the one with the BIG ultrasound (finally!) where hopefully, everything will check out ok.

Now for the belly pictures. Here I am in all my glory.

It's pretty neat that I managed to get a beer gut without having a sip of beer! Of course, I hoped to have one of those cute bumps in the lower belly - instead it looks like Butters is sitting right below my chest. My Butters belly can still be hidden in the right clothing. I have many years of experience in 'strategic dressing' because there have been times in my life where my boobs and gut have been bigger than they are now. Now, am I complaining about my Butters gut? NO! One may also wonder why I would even try to dress in a way to hide my belly. This is hard to explain and may sound extremely shallow without me getting into my whole 'weight history'.

I am actually eager to really show, but during this little in-between stage, I don’t appear ‘p’, just bigger, so I still dress in a way to hide weight gain. This, I realize, is very insane and again may sound extremely self-absorbed, selfish and vain. I should just shut up unless I just explain myself fully. Maybe I can provide a couple of factoids to help explain this for the time being. Let me first say that I would rather gain 80 pounds and be ‘p’ than to NOT be ‘p’.

(If you have never had weight issues, the following information may seem weird and rather boring.)

I gain weight easily. I once gained 40 pounds in one year, after losing 20. (yeah, that was really smart!) I have never been obese, but have struggled with my weight since I was young. I was teased about it, especially because some of my weight went to my chest. I am a lifetime member of We.ight Wa.tchers. I workout on a regular basis (weights and cardio) and my body still doesn't seem to want to use up more calories, even with increased muscle mass. If there was a famine, I would be a survivor because my body is wonderfully efficient at storing fat.

If someone told me last year I would be posting my weight on the Internet, as well as pictures of my bare middle, I would have told the person to please go seek psychiatric help immediately. Now look at me...

I am 5'4", and at my 13 week appointment, I weighed 143, which was also my weight at 9 weeks. That wouldn’t be too bad, except that when I started fertility treatments last June, I weighed 125, after working hard to take off a little winter weight. Fertility drugs did a number on my weight (I know it fluctuated based on how my clothing would fit - especially my bras) so I stopped getting weighed. I didn't want the additional stress, and doing whatever I had to do to try and become pregnant was far more important than a number on a scale.

I did get weighed at my RE's office at around 5 weeks but refused to look at the scale. I think I may have weighed somewhere in the mid 130's (again, based on how clothes fit). After that, all my clothes got tighter and my chest grew a whole size (arrggh!) almost immediately! Seriously, it was like as soon as I received a positive beta, my body went 'Hey! Pregnancy! Woo hoo! Time to expand!' Plus, my RE wanted me to stay out of the gym for the first few weeks as a precaution, plus I had ZERO energy... and I was hungrier, and had very little nausea. This all adds up to some nice, quick weight gain.

I was a bit concerned (who am I kidding – I was very concerned!) that I would keep gaining at the same rate, which wouldn’t be healthy. Plus, silly me kept Googling things like ‘weight gain 8 weeks pregnancy’ and found all sorts of posts about people losing weight in the first trimester! BAH!! I feel a lot better now, because luckily, it seems like my body has decided to take a momentary break from extreme fat storage, (that sounds like a reality show - EXtreme Fat Storage!) because I weighed 144 at today’s appointment (17w3d). So now I can eat all I want!! ;-) (kidding - I wish!)

So, for anyone who feels like they have ballooned after the first positive pregnancy test - you're not alone! And for all of you who lost weight - go away! (just kidding) So there you have it - me and my weight. Sooo, I can say I've gained one pound in the past eight weeks, or that I am 19 pounds heavier than my pre-pregnancy (and pre-fertility meds) weight. Guess which one I think sounds a little nicer?!

I may have some issues, but remember, if I had to gain 100 pounds for my little Butters, I would. So, I do realize that this post may have sounded selfish and vain - I hope it doesn't, but I am prepared for such comments.


Maria said...

Love the pictures. You look great!! Very slim, no beer belly in sight.

Duck said...

I totally get the weight comments, no worries, we judge you not! I used to be always fit, then once I got over 25 bye bye thinness hello struggle to stay fit, so I fight the up hill battle too, I also gained alot since starting fertility treatments last august, went from 128 to over 145, now i'm back down to 133, but still, up hill battle all the way.
ALL that being said, you don't look fat, you look like your getting a cute belly, full of baby.

Denise said...

I had to really look at the two pictures to see the belly. It looks like you've "filled out" with preggo belly!

I think my scale must be broken. I've not gained any weight (lost the weight I put on during my cycle), but NONE of my pants will even come close to buttoning. What's that all about?

It is so bizarre how quickly your body can change. I'm only about 4.5 weeks and my boobs are already bigger. Weird.

Susan said...

OMG! Can I steal all of your posts b/c I swear we are like fertili-twins or would that be preggo-twins? Your pictures look awesome!

Ms. J said...

First of all -- You. Look. BEAUTIFUL! Really, friggin' awesome, girl!!!

While I have never made it out of the first trimester, I totally get you on the weight gain "mental battle". I, too, am a WW survivor. They helped me loose 70 pounds, of which I have kept off 68 of those pounds for the past 4 years. I, too, have to hoof it to the gym many times each and every week, to not blimp out again. I have always struggled with the thought of how I would deal with the weight gain (I have never had an eating disorder -- just a ginormous appetite).

Let me reiterate, you look AMAZING!!! I am in awe :o)

And I absolutely believe that you are committed to gaining whather weight is necessary to have a healthy baby, so don't let anyone get on your case ;o)

Dr. Grumbles said...

You look great! I wouldn't even call that a beer belly!