Ultrasound and ‘P’ updates.

Just a note: This post is all ‘p’ stuff.

I had my 32 week Dr. appointment and ultrasound last week – I was 31w5d. Butters is facing head down, rear-end up (and will hopefully stay that way!), and everything checked out fine except for one very minor thing – while Butters is still within the normal growth range, he/she (nope, we aren’t finding out!) is in the 20th percentile. At my 20 week ultrasound, Butters was in the 75th percentile. The Dr. wanted me back in three weeks for another ultrasound, just to make sure the growth didn’t drop further. I’m not too worried, (ok, maybe just a teeny bit, but I’ll be worried until I’m actually holding a baby…) and assume that Butters just had an early growth spurt. Many people don’t even get ultrasound after 20 weeks, so I’m glad I get to have another peek in just a few weeks.

As far as pictures go – we must have the worst ultrasound pictures ever! Even the ones at 20 weeks weren’t too good because someone refused to get in a decent position and insisted on blocking his/her face with an arm! This time, Butters was facing forward but the head was far down and once again, arms were in the way. We do have a couple of pictures but they aren’t very clear. The tech also tried to get a 3D picture but, because of the position, the picture just looked like a mass of blobs. Stubborn little baby. ;-)

‘P’ Stuff
I’m enjoying feeling more movement, and am still thoroughly fascinated when I see lumps move across my stomach! I still wake up every night to go to the bathroom, usually with an accompanying leg cramp. However, I have been extremely lucky so far and have not experienced any swelling… and yes, I chalk this up to just pure luck. While I am still exercising and not going too nuts with food, (well, maybe just a little…) I know you can eat right and exercise and still have a terrible time with water retention – my SIL is a perfect example. She has a very healthy diet, didn’t gain too much weight and was always at the gym – the girl was doing an hour-long step aerobics class at 39 weeks! Yet she still swelled up – especially her poor feet and legs. Of course, now that I’ve said this, I’ll probably start swelling tomorrow!

I joke with DH and say that all the swelling must gone to my chest – the ‘girls’ are bigger than ever (32.E, anyone?) but seemed to have taken a break from growing at the moment, thank goodness. My porn-star chest doesn’t bother me as much now because it’s less noticeable with my bigger belly, though I can’t imagine what will happen when they start filling with milk. Eeeegads.

Work
I’ve been working extra hours this past month, and it’s beginning to wear on me a bit, but not terribly. However, I decided cut back my hours for the month of September, and will be working only three days a week, mainly because I want to get everything done that needs to be done (still working on the house – that’s a whole post in itself) and have a little time to relax. Since I work as a sub-contractor, my hours are rather flexible, and I did tell my employer a few months ago that I would probably reduce my hours in September, and they were totally fine with the idea. I don’t have maternity leave, but I do qualify for temporary disability, and I plan to stop working at the end of September. My contractor status also makes it very easy for me to come back to work without having to provide an exact date right now, though I did tell them that they won’t be seeing me again until sometime in 2009…. maybe. I actually don’t have concrete work plans at the moment… I’m thinking of working part-time… but there is a small chance I may not. Of course, ‘not working’ means not working outside of the home – I’ll still keep the small home business thing in either case. We'll see.

And speaking of work… perhaps I should go do some now…..

The BIG Ultrasound

Sorry for the delay in posting an update. I didn't get back to the office until 10am, which was later than expected, and had a one-on-one meeting with our program manager (!) shortly after I arrived. Now I'm nervous because I think I am going to be responsible for heading up a lot more automated script writing which involves a lot of programming that... well, let's just say I'm not a programmer! Ack! Then I had a short meeting with my direct manager (yes, I actually do work - since I often post during the day, it may seem like I don't do anything) So anyway....

In a nutshell: It's a healthy.................................



baby!!! Everything is 'perfect', according to the doctor!!

The ultrasound tech first showed me the u/s screen, then started taking measurements and had to turn the screen away, so DH got to watch Butters in detail and I couldn't see for a while! (wah!) I knew the tech couldn't say much to me but I did ask if everything was looking ok and she said yes. After a while, when she was done taking all the measurements and such, she turned the screen back so I could see. Butters was being a little uncooperative with his/her head tucked down so the tech was having trouble getting a face view. We could see the spine perfectly - hands, legs, feet, but Butters wasn't eager to show us his/her full face. The tech did try to get a good 3-D image but it wasn't coming out well because of the position. She tried and tried for quite a while, hoping to get us a better shot, but couldn't, which was ok - I was just happy that everything seemed fine! I knew I wouldn't get the 'official' word until I spoke with the doctor, but I figured the tech wouldn't have spent so much time fiddling around with pictures if there was a problem.

So after the u/s was done, we just waited to speak to the doctor. She came in and said, "Well, everything looks fine - just perfect!" What wonderful words! Butters is 13 ounces and measuring on target, just shy of 21 weeks. She measured my belly, and said my uterus was right on target too. Is this really possible? Everything is just normal?! *huge sigh of relief* And that was it!

I forgot to mention that when we first got there, I told the tech we didn't want to know the gender yet, but could she note it in my file? She hesitated and said that if we didn't want to know she usually then did not enter it into the information she was collecting. I said, "Then this would be the only time we would be able to find out, since I probably won't have another ultrasound?" and looked at DH with big puppy dog eyes, like, "pllleeeaaseee can we find out?" There was another assistant in the room who said I would have one at 32 weeks (cool!) but that sometimes it's hard to tell at that point. DH looked at me with HIS big puppy dog eyes and said "Well... we really did say we would wait...maybe we can still find out at 32 weeks?" So, being the wonderful wife that I am, (ha ha) I told the tech not to tell us, since honestly, I know it means more to DH to NOT find out (I still don't get it, but whatever...) than it means for me to find out. I would like to know but if I don't, it isn't that big of a deal. Trust me, if I felt like I couldn't stand not knowing, I would have put my big size 9.5 foot down and found out. I just told DH that he would be responsible for running out and buying pink or blue stuff at the last minute!

Now it's time to go back to work here. Finally, another step completed towards achieving a RLB (real live baby) Keeping going Butters, keep going!

Tomorrow's Ultrasound

I don't have much to say because I'm just preoccupied, thinking about tomorrow's u/s.

Most people would just be excited, which I am, but I am also nervous. I just hope everything is fine. I have no reason to believe otherwise ... but I know about the tragic conditions that can be discovered during this particular ultrasound. I of course, do not vocalize these thoughts to people IRL, except to say to DH that I am nervous and hope everything is fine. If I mentioned how I felt to anyone, I would probably just be told that I'm too pessimistic, that I need to stop being so negative, blah blah blah. It's not that I'm walking around, worrying 24-7 or anything like that, but these thoughts are still in my mind.

Maybe I just can't believe that I could actually have a normal, uneventful pregnancy?Again, if I mentioned this to people IRL, they would think I was nuts, since I have no reason to think that I wouldn't have a 'regular' pregnancy. Of course, I had no reason to think that I wold have trouble getting pregnant in the first place either...

I also feel guilty because I'm somewhat preoccupied with my weight, which is something I shouldn't be concerned with at the moment, considering the importance of thomorrow's ultrasound. (I think I've gained about 4 or 5 pounds in the last 3.5 weeks - not good - especially since I have increased my exercise - gotta love that.)

However, I am still excited about tomorrow. I'm sure I'll drive the tech crazy, asking if everything looks ok every 20 seconds. 'How is everything? Everything look normal? Do you see any problems? Is everything fine?!' We won't be finding out Butter's gender tomorrow (even though I would love to) because I agreed to wait at least until my SIL delivers in mid-July as a compromise, since DH does not want to know ahead of time. Maybe the u/s tech will slip up and mention the gender... hee hee.

I'll update again after my appointment tomorrow morning.

9w3d - First OB Appointment

FYI: This post is just basically about my OB appointment today.

9w3d ... but yesterday was 9w1d, so how is that possible? Answer: I received an updated measurement today because I scored another ultrasound! :) Yes!! They weren't going to do one initialy, but perhaps my puppy dog eyes convinced them otherwise. You may see me on an upcoming episode of Intervention, with my family trying to pry me away from u/s machines. Anyway....

The Ob/Gyn I am going to is the same one I've been seeing since I was a teenager. My doctor retired a few years ago and I have been seeing a new one since then. My appointment today, however, was with a nurse practitioner. After turning some initial paperwork they had sent me to fill out prior to my visit, I went into a consultation room. The nurse practitioner came in, looked over my paperwork, asked me some initial questions, and then went over some basic information - what not to eat, what I should eat, exercise, medication, etc. I received a folder of informational pamphlets and a pregnancy book. She then explained how often I would be coming - once a month until ... I forget what week....30? Anyway, once a month for quite a while, and they would perform an ultrasound at 20 weeks. I was surprised that they didn't do one a little earlier... anyway, this was, of course, the perfect time for me to ask, "Soooo... are you going to do an u/s today?" She said no, (nicely) and then continued. Would I like to make an appointment with a genetic counselor to screen for certain conditions? They can do a nuchal translucency ultrasound and bloodwork around week 11-13 to assess the possibility of certain problems. I said yes, only because I want to be as informed as possible. (I can't say that the extra ultrasound didn't also factor into my decision!) At the end of the consultation, I said, lightheartedly, "So, no chance of an ultrasound today?" and smiled. I didn't want her to know how psycho I really am! She said no, since I just had one last week and I said I understood, I was just being over-cautious, wanting to make sure "everything was still there!" and kind of laughed. Again, I didn't want the depth of my nuttiness to be obvious. (Denise, I did think about your suggestion :) )

I then went into the examination room for the examination - checking my uterus, listening to my heart, breast exam, etc. I already had a pap smear and the initial bloodwork done while still at my RE. So I change, and wait...wait.... Hmm, wonder why the wait? The door opens and I see the nurse practitioner wheeling something in behind her... wait, is that an ULTRASOUND MACHINE?! She turns to me, smiles, and says, "Alright, alright, you win, we'll take a peek in there, though the picture won't be very good" YES!! I'm not concerned about the picture quality - show me a HB! I thank her and let her know how appreciative I am. She pours some goop on my belly, and I think "Wow, a non-dildo cam u/s!" Well, that didn't work too well... she couldn't really pick anything up. I wasn't concerned since it's still pretty early. So, she said she'd get the dildo-cam (obviously she didn't call it that!) and try that after she does the regular exam.

So, after the exam, she gets the nice little wand, and voila! We see everything right away. Now, this u/s machine wasn't nearly as clear as the one at the RE's office, but I could clearly see Butters. She pointed out the HB (which I could barely see on this machine, but whatever, as long as she saw it!) and then did measurements. "Right on target" she said, "9 weeks, 3 days, perfect." A wave of relief washed over me. Now, I know that this still doesn't mean something can't still go wrong but for some reason, I felt like the 9 week mark was critical. I didn't get a picture, which is fine, since they weren't even planning on doing an u/s initially.

The nurse practitioner did say something I found a little funny. She knew I underwent IVF from my records, so as she was doing the u/s she asked, "So, how many eggs did you put back?" Eggs? Oh, you mean I could have just put eggs back in my uterus? Heh heh. I just smiled and said two.

My next appointment is April 15. (tax day!) However, my screening appointment will be some time before then. In the meantime, I still have plenty to post about, assuming I don't continue to sleep 30 hours a night. Oh, I did forget to mention that I am down to just one dose of crinone gel a day instead of two! I am supposed to continue with the progest.erone until I am 10 weeks along, which is this weekend. Yay, no more yucky gel!

Heartbeats and Heart Attacks

I have a very good excuse as to why I have not posted about Tuesday's u/s until now. Really I do. I've been sleeping. No lie - this %!#% progeste.rone (do you think I whine about pregeste.rone enough?!) still has be conking out pretty early each night, and I can't get a jolt from some nice strong, regular coffee! I vowed to post Thurs. night, but fell asleep even earlier because, believe it or not I am sick again! Just a slight fever and sore throat - just enough to make me feel pretty lousy, and wanting to sleep even more than usual, if that's even possible. I was able to go to work Fri. Thank you Tylenol. I rarely ever get sick two weeks in a row, so I don't know what's going on. I could have posted from work, since I do manage to stay awake during the day, but I wanted to scan the latest picture to go with the post... which I planned on doing every evening and wound up falling asleep before I get to the computer.

Tuesday's u/s went very well. Butters had grown and measured 6w2d. Based on my ER date, I would have been 6w4d on Tuesday, but Dr. M. said that a two day measurement difference didn't mean anything, because it depends on when implantation occurred. The most reassuring thing was the little heartbeat that both DH and I could see very clearly, beating away at 120bpm. I just stared at the screen in awe. You still can't see much in the picture.

I was told to stop the estrad.iol pills and the PIO shots - yay! However, I still have to use the 'wonderful' Crino.ne gel twice a day. (bleh) Dr. M. said he wanted to see me probably two more times, and to go ahead and set up an appointment with my regular obgyn for about 3 weeks from now. I, of course, wish I could stay with Dr. M. through everything, as I am sure most patients do, but we all know that isn't possible. My next u/s is scheduled for March 4.

This is where the 'heat attack' part of my post begins.
Needless to say, I was feeling pretty happy. That lasted about an hour and a half. I decided to go to the bathroom at work and insert my dose of Crin.one. I usually insert my morning does when I wake up, but I wanted to wait until after the u/s in case the u/s wand interfered with any absorption.

(TMI alert) So there I am, in the stall. Insert applicator, squeeze out the gel, remove the applicator. I notice a very small bit of red on the end of the applicator. I think 'Hmm... well, I guess I might have a little bit of spotting from the u/s or something.' I wasn't yet worried, but decided to jam my finger you-know-where just to check. I expected to maybe see a bit of discoloration. Instead, I see a finger covered in bright red blood. I start to shake.

Rational mind thought at the moment: "I just saw a heartbeat. There is no way I could be miscarrying right now."

Irrational mind thought at that moment, which completely overrode rational mind thought: "WHAT THE %!$%!$ BRIGHT RED? OH SH*T!! No No NO NO!"

It took me about 1.5 seconds to pull my pants back up, get back to my desk, grab my cell phone and get back out to a secluded part of the hallway and call the doctor's office. After explaining to the nurse what happened, she immediately told me to not worry - that my vag area is 'very vascular', end even more so than usual now that I'm 'p.' She said this happens a lot - that the u/s and the Crino.ne applicator could easily cause this. She asked if I had any type of pain or cramping - I didn't. I asked if I should come in if the bleeding continued and she said yes, of course, but that I should not expect any bleeding to continue.

I then spent the rest of the day trying to not go to the bathroom every 15.8 seconds to check things out. As it turns out, she was right - there hasn't been anything since.

Introducing Butters

Sorry for the delay in posting anything. I've been working late, and still passing out at night! However, before I continue, I wanted to again mention some fellow bloggers who just received bad news. I know there are countless others out there, but these are from some of the blogs that I currently follow.

Please send sticky thoughts out to JP. Her beta skyrocketed over the weekend, only to have it not double for the next test. Also, sadly, Azalea Baby's beta has now dropped.

I do feel odd posting about my situation with all the bad news going around. I guess I shouldn't, but I do.

First, thank you all for your well-wishes. I do feel better. In fact, by Tuesday morning, my fever and terrible cramps were totally gone. The only thing I had was pretty bad nausea... but not the kind that would make one throw up. I just didn't want to eat anything, which for me, is highly unusual. I wondered if it was leftover from my stomach-virus-thing or if it was a symptom! This lasted pretty much all day, plus, I still had some, (TMI) ummm....bathroom issues. However, I felt 100% better, and it didn't interfere with work, etc. Things were pretty much the same yesterday, maybe a bit better and today, I have barely any nausea. Maybe a bit. Still some, umm... bathroom issues. So... perhaps it was all related to whatever bug I had.

So anyway, ah yes, the ultrasound! Dr. M. did the ultrasound himself - I think he does all the ultrasounds once you've reached this stage. My ovaries are not overly swollen at all, which is good. That's what you all wanted to know about, right? My ovaries?

Ok - to the important part. We saw one little guy/gal in my uterus. DH and I were sad, knowing that either 'lefty' or 'righty' didn't latch on. However, that being said, I'm not complaining, and I know how lucky I am to have had one blastbaby stick!!! I absolutely realize what a miracle it is for me to be the 'p' word at all.

We were able to see the tiny sac right away. Dr. M. said it measured right on target. He then pointed out the yolk sac, and the beginning of a fetal pole, which are basically just little dots inside the sac. We were unable to detect a heartbeat, which is not unusual. Dr. M. did warn me before the ultrasound that we may not see one quite yet, and if that's the case, I shouldn't be concerned. Of course I had already scoured the Internet and knew that 5w5d was still pretty early for a heartbeat, so I was prepared. (Dr. M. actually said I was 5w4d, and I'm not quite sure why, since ER was on Jan. 25, but, whatever.)

I have of course included a picture, though you won't really see much yet, just the teensy sac.

(If you want to see some totally cool pictures, check out Rebecca's 3-D pics!)

DH and I are now referring to the little one as Butters. We came up with that because for some reason, we thought of the innocent little kid on South.Par.k named Butters, and thought if our tiny one could talk (stop laughing at me!) we imagined him/her talking like Butters - like "Hey guys, I'm trying my best to grow in here...awww gee...look, I'm growing hands!" DH also really likes the character....ok, I know that may not make much sense if you have never heard of or seen this character, and even if you do know who Butters is, it still may not make any sense! Anyway, butter is kind of sticky too, so we thought Butters was fitting.

Because we did not yet detect a heartbeat, Dr. M. wants me to stay on all of my progeste.rone (booooo!) as a precaution. That's right - the PIO shots as well as two doses of crin.one gel a day.

Right before I left, Dr. M. decided to do b/w and check my HCG level. My HCG level, as of yesterday, was 6666. I laughed when they called me with the number! The doubling time has slowed now to 2.5 days, but the nurse who called said that Dr. M. reviewed the results of the b/w and the number was fine.

So now I wait until next Tuesday, Feb. 26, for my next ultrasound. Please keep sticking, Butters.