My Embryos are Home

Thank you all for your well-wishes! Sorry for not posting sooner about yesterday's transfer. I'll get into the details in a moment, but in summary, everything went fine, and I have two little blastocysts tucked away inside me. The embryologist said that the quality of both was great.

Right now I am calling them Lefty and Righty, based on where they are in the photo of them that Dr. M. gave me. (no, nothing to do with politics!) Both were graded as 3AA (!), but Righty was graded a little higher, as almost a 4AA. Apparently, the number indicates the stage they are in and the letters have to do with the cells and how tight they are, etc.

Apparently, the ones that were not at the four cell stage on day 2 stopped growing, but six continued to grow. When I walked out of the changing area, the embryologist was talking to Dr. M. and I heard her say that they had these two really good ones, but one (must have been little Righty) was just so perfect... then I heard these words: "The other four (something something something).. so they probably won't make it to freezing."

That was the one time yesterday that my heart dropped. The four they weren't implanting wouldn't 'make it' to freezing? Why couldn't they freeze them right now?! DH was right there and even though he couldn't see my face, he must have known how I felt because he quickly started touching my back, telling me it would be ok. He told me later that he felt exactly as I did when he heard we probably would lose our other four. I tried not let my emotions show on my face, but I guess I didn't do a very good job because Dr. M. looked at me and asked if I was ok. I said yes, it was just that, you know, the other four won't make it... I didn't want to sound like an idiot - I mean, they were going to transfer two great blasts. I understand a little better now, after talking to Dr. M. and reading more about blastocyst transfers. At that moment though, I wanted to make sure that they were still doing everything possible to take care of the other four since I had made it clear that under no circumstance did I want any of them destroyed. Dr. M., awesome as always, was more than happy to talk with me and answer questions yesterday. He also said that only 15% of his patients usually have embryos make it to the blastocyst stage and that my odds of achieving a pregnancy are now much higher. Oh pleeeaaaseee let that be the case.

Dr. M's office just called and as expected, none of the remaining four made it. They weren't quite far enough along yet to freeze and they had to let them grow another day, but they did not continue to grow.

Ok, so I just rambled on about the non-freeze way too long, didn't I? I hope my ramble doesn't make it seem like I don't realize how lucky I am at this moment. I AM excited and happy - for the first time in my life, I am technically, well, pregnant - I mean, I know I'm not until they implant, but this is the closest I have ever been!

I had acupuncture before and after the transfer, and I managed not to wet myself as I lay there with my big, full bladder! I went home and lay on the couch all day. Since I wasn't supposed to go back to work, and all I do is sit on my butt in front of a PC at work, I decided that if I went home and sat on my butt in front of a PC, it would be like being at work! So I just sprawled out and watched cable.

I must cut this post a little short because I am at work. Yes, I know - at work?! Wait! Hang on! Dr. M. would be ok to go to work if I wanted to. Remember -I sit on my butt all day, and I am not stressed at work at the moment, so I'm fine. Plus I work less than 10 minutes from my house, so if I feel like anything is wrong, I'm outta here! I'm on the fourth floor and usually take the stairs, but for now, I'm elevator girl.

Start sticking little ones! That means both of you! Don't get lazy on me now - I am already attached to you both, so I need you both to attach to ME!