Sunday, January 27, 2008

Blast Transfer!!!

Dr. M. called this morning. His exact words were that at least 9 out of the 10 are still growing. 9! Out of the 9, 5 or 6 embabies are 4 or more cells, so, he wants to let all of them continue to grow and do a 5 day transfer on Jan. 30. He said they usually only do a blastocyst transfer if there are at least four embies at 4 cells on day 2. Dr. M. said this was a great cycle, and that he thought my chances of pregnancy just went from 30% to 50%. I’ll get a call some time Monday with another embryo update and to set up the exact time for Wednesday.

I can’t help but be excited, but I realize that even though these numbers are good so far, that doesn’t guarantee implantation or a pregnancy. And even if I do achieve a pregnancy, that doesn’t mean it will be a full-term pregnancy. Trust me, I’ve read too many heartbreaking IF stories not to be fully aware of what can happen.

Again, I still can’t help feeling happy right now. Yes, I know it’s too early to be excited, but this is the farthest I have ever gotten (as far as I know) in the whole procreation game. On paper DH and look perfectly fertile. Up until now I had no idea what was wrong - for all I knew my eggs really sucked. Whatever was keeping me from getting pregnant is still unknown, but I think I may have narrowed it down to two – well, three - possibilities. It’s incredibly stupid for me to speculate like this, but I’ll do it anyway!

My Silly Infertility Speculations:

1. Tubes. While my HSG was fine, there could be another issue that didn’t show on that test. Mild endo that just didn’t show on the billions of ultrasounds? Possibly a defect in the fallopian tube cilia? Ciliary motion is an important factor in normal ovum transport. (yes, I copied that line from another web site!)

2. Problem with my uterine lining/I can’t carry a pregnancy. See, I don’t know if an egg has ever been fertilized within my body. Sooo… I don’t know if any little embies tried to implant but couldn’t because my uterus sucks.

3. Nothing – just some odd imbalance in my system that threw things out of wack just enough to keep me from getting pregnant. This was one of the reasons I started, and have continued acupuncture.

Out of the three silly speculations, obviously #2 would be my nightmare. IVF isn’t going to get around a sucky uterus.

Is it silly to be so happy so early? DH and I are just so excited that as of right now, we actually managed to create something! I do feel a little ridiculous – I mean, fertile people wouldn’t get excited over this. They can just create embryos every month! And I should know better… since day 1 of this infertility journey, it’s always been good news… until the day evil AF arrives. Good SA. Good follies. O’ing with no meds. Good news, good news… awww… look, a stark white pregnancy test, oh, and guess what, AF just showed up! This could happen all over again… look, awesome ebryos…transfer was perfect…. awww… look, a stark white pregnancy test… etc.

I will still remain positive. I’ve had cycles where I have felt totally negative, and some where I have felt very positive, and while the result has so far been the same, I do believe positive energy can only help, as corny as that seems. So I will remain silly, corny and positive. Keep growing little ones!

5 comments:

Rebeccah said...

Yay, blast transfer! It's totally not silly to be so happy now. You had to go through a lot to get this far, and 9 embies at day 3 is really exciting news. Can't wait to hear how your transfer goes!

nancy said...

ooo - good luck!!! So far, so wonderfully good!

Egged Out said...

Great News! I'm so excited for you. Yes, it's not a "take home baby" yet but it is a great start and there's no reason not to be happy. Way to go!

Duck said...

9 embies, that's great news. It's good to be happy, you have 9 embryos, you've reached this point, that is HUGE! Congrats!

Optimistic said...

Wow - 9 embies..That is great news and definitely reason to be happy! Congrats.