The Sponge.

I found out this week that my dental hygienist became pregnant while using the contraceptive sponge. Isn’t that exciting?

Perhaps I should elaborate and explain why this is relevant to anything at all ;-)

I had my standard 6 month dental visit this week. The hygienist was someone I had not had before. She was probably in her 50’s, maybe? She has a daughter in college – anyway, before she started she asked me if I was taking any medications. I paused because I just stopped the injections and was going to start the progesterone.e, and then thought those probably were not relevant. However, by that point I had paused long enough that it would have seemed odd if I said ‘No’. So I said matter-of-factly that this probably wasn’t relevant but I was undergoing some fertility assistance. Now, I knew that by saying that I might get questions, but I said it in such a ‘clinical’ way that I hoped there would be no discussion.

What was I thinking? Of course there was going to be a discussion! She said right away ‘Oh, is it working?’ I said no, not yet. Then she said that ‘you never know what might happen.’ As she started her next statement, I thought maybe she had undergone some type of fertility treatment. Ummm… no, quite the opposite. She announced ‘Yes, you never know – I mean, I got pregnant while using the sponge! Remember the sponge?’

Now THAT was not something I was expecting to hear. It might have been less amusing sounding if she had said ‘while on the pill’ or ‘while using condoms’. Well, at least I didn’t feel like I had gotten too personal by mentioning the fertility stuff!

Ok, now, before I go any further, I will say that her comments did not upset me. Maybe I would have felt different if that had been a day that AF had arrived, or if I had been undergoing treatments for a longer time, but the way she said things – it was almost in such an innocent, amusing way that it didn’t bother me. Plus, I could have just kept my fat trap shut about things in the first place.

So anyway, she announced her sponge pregnancy, and all I could think of was that her husband must have been sponge worthy. (any Seinfeld fans out there?) She then explained how it was her and her husband’s second marriage, they were going to wait a year before deciding whether to have kids or not, and then 5 months later she found out she was 2 months pregnant.

‘So, you see,’ she said, ‘You really never know what can happen!’

I guess I don’t have to explain why this is NOT a good example to use when trying to give a pep talk to someone who can’t get pregnant. ‘Hey, you can’t get pregnant, but don’t worry! I got pregnant while trying to totally avoid it! Don’t you feel better?’

I couldn’t say too much since she was cleaning my teeth.

As it turned out, it may have been relevant to mention the fertility treatment. She mentioned that my gums seemed a little tender and were bleeding a little, but it was probably due to the hormone changes – that hormone levels could affect the gum area (I never heard that before) and that I should be extra diligent with my brushing and flossing. Anyway, my dentist came in for a quick check after the cleaning was finished, and of course she announced to my dentist that I was taking fertility drugs so that’s why my gums may seem a little inflamed. At least my dentist, who happens to be female, didn’t also start asking questions – she just sort of nodded her head and let it go. (Thank you, smart, considerate dentist!)

Later that night, I started obsessing about my ovulation and the timing of everything… and the obsessive thought process came right back to the damn sponge! I was calculating when I may have ovulated and if DH’s boys would be in the area at the right time. I’m almost positive I did O on Tuesday night, based on symptoms I was having…. The HCG shot fiasco aside – assuming I O’d around 9:00pm on Sept. 17….This is my thought process:

[Start obsessive thought process]

Step 1…
Ok, there was activity with DH Sept 15, late at night. That’s less than 48 hours before O – the boys should still be there, waiting… but maybe my CM wasn’t up to par yet since I just stopped the ganireli.x on Sept 14… so maybe the boys had trouble getting through! Damn..

Step 2…
Ok, well, I had the IUI at 10:30am Sept. 17… but some places on-line said that if the boys were ‘washed’ for an IUI, they only live 18-24 hours, and some places said as little as 6 or 12 hours!!! What if they only lived 12 hours or less?! They may have died off between 10:30am and 9:00pm!!! [start panic]

Step 3…
Well, there was more activity on the morning of Sept. 18, less than 12 hours since O started… the egg lives 24 hours… but I always heard it was much better to have the boys waiting ahead of time – what if that was too late?!?

Step ^!&$!$....
I can’t believe it! I may have missed it! There was BD before and after and the IUI the day of but I probably missed the right time by a few hours! !!!!^&!$^~!#~%!#%@~#

[and back to the sponge issue] I may have missed it because of the short life span of washed boys or because of less than perfect CM, and someone with a damn sponge blocking the entryway and everything, gets pregnant? DANN IT!

[End obsessive thought process]

Yes, I know I got myself worked up over probably nothing, and if I get yet another BFN this month, it’s most likely related to something else. Or at least that is what I’m trying to tell myself.

And it’s only 4dpiui. This is going to be a long two weeks.