Betas

I am writing this more for myself than anyone else, since no one reads this abandoned blog ;) It's any easy way for me to keep track of what is going on. I should have done that here with preg. #2. Oh well.

Beta #1: 57
Beta #2: 167

Had beta #3 today but probably won't get the results until Monday. I actually had some minor bleeding and cramps which would have completely destroyed me had this happened with preg. #1 or #2 (especially #1) but I have read so much at this point regarding fertility, preg. symptoms and such that I know this type of bleeding and cramping (which has totally stopped) can span the spectrum from the worst case scenario (miscarriage or ectopic) to absolutely nothing (some extra blood and my uterus stretching/gas). It was so weird that those two things did not phase me, but then this whole situation is still rather surreal to me.

Ultrasound scheduled for November 21.

Uh....#3?

Obviously, I have not been updating this. I may start to update again to keep track of....

pregnancy #3.

Yes.

No, not IVF #3.

No IVF, no anything.

One of THOSE... you know, people tell you to stop trying, and it will 'happen'? Problem is, even when you stop trying, if you still want to get pregnant, no matter what, in the back of you mind, you're trying! So there I was, not thinking about pregnancy, let alone ovulation....

5 IUI's, and additional months with just meds... and nothing worked except IVF. In addition, my luteal phase was too short to let an embryo stick unless I used progesterone.

Anyway, it's still super early. I was only about 1 day late (and not even that since my cycles can vary by a few days) but my chest exploded and was sore, so I bought a test yesterday just to ease my mind and prove to myself that, hello, silly woman, you can't get pregnant!

Two lines. The line is darker today.

I called my RE and he said he would follow me, so I had bloodwork done today. No results yet.

I'm writing this because I really don't know what to do, if that makes any sense.

What the *&^%$$%&*

A year ago tomorrow.....

Hi again! The disappearing blog owner has stopped on by, since tomorrow is her son's birthday! Yes, on June 3, 2010 I gave birth to a little boy.... over 3 weeks early! To make a long story VERY short, I was basically walking around all day in labor. I was having contractions but they weren't bad and even the doctor said it could just be my uterus 'practicing.' Well, let's just say that around 9:00pm the contractions started getting painful enough that I thought maybe we had better go to the hospital. I decided to clean up to go, but before I could... the pain suddenly became so unbearable that I could not walk. Around 9:45pm we called 911 since I could not get down the stairs....

Our son was born at 10:21pm :) Yep, I experienced 100% natural childbirth (OOOWWW!!) And we did make it to the hospital... barely. They moved me from the stretcher to the hospital bed, started to put monitors and such on me, (as I pleaded for pain relief...) and they said "Oh, the head's right there - there's no time for an epidural - go - push!" I was like "Right now?" "YES! Now!" Pushed twice, and ta da!! I was actually on my side, with most of my clothes still on.

I had better just post this before I save it, walk away and don't come back until 2012 ;)

Still Alive and Kicking

I decided to sign in and post so my blog wasn't deleted for inactivity! I never did start a new blog and obviously have not updated this one. I should post things just to at least keep a record for myself as to what is going on - anyway, I am still pregnant, am due in about 6 weeks. My amniotic fluid is on the low side so I have to go to the doctor every week and drink a ton of water. I was also told recently not to exercise to see if that brings the fluid level up a bit. If the level drops more they said I could be put on bed rest which is NOT a good thing since we are in the process of moving and am taking care of a toddler!!

This pregnancy is in many ways similar to my first one. I am carrying very much the the same way, though I feel a lot more pressure lower down, and have for a few months, probably due to everything being stretched from the first time. Heartburn is worse this time, but I didn't become congested for months.

Now I need to find out why I can't get into my e-mail account that is associated with this blog - hotmail probably deleted it.
(was able to just reactivate it)

And gee, look... spammers have been posting comments. I guess I can't allow anonymous comments now. Do spammers REALLY think that these posts will get people to click on their links?!

IVF#2... We've got one bean....

A few things....
At this point, IVF #2 worked... had one ultrasound last week and there is one little sac. I have one this Friday and hope to see a heartbeat. I actually POAS after writing my last post and it looked negative... then I went back later and saw the *faintest* line... which NEVER happened to me. I could look at tests 8 hours later and it would still be stark white... so I went to $ Tree and got a few more and the line became darker. I called my RE and got my beta moved up one day. The numbers were high enough that I thought it might be twins (!) but there's just one. I am continuing with acupuncture, just like before (well pregnancy visits)

I have not been updating here - and that may seem odd since usually I would be posting all my beta numbers and such, and I wanted to... but.... I have been trying to decide what to do about this blog... it has been anonymous (except for two people IRL who know about it) and I really would like to start one that my family and friends can read. In the beginning of my infertility 'journey' I needed a place to log things, to vent and discuss things with people who know exactly what I was going through - and I still need that but I don't feel like I need the anonymity. Plus, while I am still infertile (can't get pregnant without IVF!) I don't think people who are searching out infertility blogs would be too interested in reading my blog at this point since it will be nothing but a pregnancy blog again (assuming this one sticks!)

I seriously don't think someone struggling with infertility is interested in hearing about my situation at this point - and I don't blame them!! So I think I will end this blog here very shortly... though I don't want to make this my very last post quite yet.

That's what is going on at this point. I plan to update after my next ultrasound and then hopefully know what I am doing about starting another blog....

IVF #2... Almost Beta Time...

Is this the least number of posts ever made for an IVF cycle?! I still can’t figure why I’m not writing more. This post was actually from yesterday, October 12... but I got too involved in watching the Ph.illies game last night and did not quite finish it, which is why I am posting it now. (what a game!!) Anyway, I did go ahead with egg retrieval and the embryo transfer – my beta is scheduled for Thursday, October 15. I’ll summarize what’s happened so far. I’ll be comparing this to my first IVF cycle because… we, I can’t help but compare the two!

This IVF cycle started out so much like my first one it was eerie! My follicles were a little on the slow side in the beginning, with my left ovary not producing as many as the right. This did not concern me since this is exactly what happened the first time – I remember how upset I was before with the follicles on my left side, but since everything worked out fine, I wasn’t bothered by this at all. In the end, I wound up with a few more total follicles than I did with IVF #1! I have all the sizes written down and I should post them because if I don’t, I know I will lose the pieces of paper they are written on and I won’t have a record of them. Anyway, my ER was on October 1, which meant I stimmed for one less day as opposed to IVF #1. I also went for acupuncture treatments during this cycle, just like last time.

ER went pretty much the same... I was again very lucky to have an egg-stremely (ha ha) easy retrieval. I felt ok the rest of the day and even went out to dinner that night. I wasn't nearly as bloated this time around... my pants still fit ;-) They retrieved 14 eggs, but the embryologist cold tell right away that one was a dud, so I had 13 good eggs. I had 12 eggs retrieved in IVF #1. I felt confident that I would again have a 5 day transfer... but this is where things started going a bit differently.

The next day, I found out that 7 eggs fertilized. I had ten last time. I wasn’t thrilled with the number being less than before, but certainly realized that 7 was still a good number. The next day, (Sat) the embryologist called… which was a bit awkward because I was out at a breakfast event, and had to run out when my phone vibrated. I knew people were probably thinking, “Oh… one of THOSE people who just have to answer their phone no matter where they are!” Anyway, the embryologist said that she wanted to do a 3 day transfer because while all 7 embies were still growing, they were not growing quite as fast as she would like to see, and she thought that they would definitely be able to choose the best embies by day 3. I went back to the breakfast event, trying not to show that I was upset. I tried to tell myself that it was stupid to be upset since the majority of IVF cycles are 3 day transfers!

So on Sunday, I went for my transfer. My acupuncturist came in and performed treatments before and after the transfer. My RE decided to transfer three embryos – one 8-cell with 10% fragmentation, one 8-cell with 20% fragmentation, and one 5-cell with 20% fragmentation. This was certainly different than the two grade A blasts from IVF #1! My RE is very conservative when it comes to trying to avoid triplet, and even twin, pregnancies, and he is well aware of my stance on reducing (I would not reduce) so I trusted his judgment in transferring more than two. I made sure that they would still freeze the other embryos, knowing that none would probably live long enough to freeze, since my RE freezes embies only once they are at the blast stage. (and I was correct...my other embryos didn't make it)

I went home and for about a day, started obsessively worrying about having triplets. This was completely irrational, I know… after all, I transferred two embies last time and only one made it… the chance of all three hanging on would be extremely unlikely. Here is where something went a differently than last time – because of my irrational thoughts about triplets (I know – I will be very lucky if the cycle works at all!) I decided to start POAS.

I did not POAS at all with #1 because seeing the negative tests would make me insane. However, I felt much differently this time – my beta with #1 was only 54, which means that nothing would probably show on an HPT before 12 or 13 days past egg retrieval, if implantation takes place in a similar time frame this time around. Plus, I have read many more stories now from people who had negative HPTs up until their beta. Seeing a negative HPT early on would actually make me feel better, because it would mean that I probably wasn’t having triplets!! See how insane I am? Anyway, I started testing on 4dp3dt or 7 days past ER. The test of course was stark white, which meant the HCG shot was out of my system, and I have continued to test every day since then, and each day I see a very, very negative test. As of 8dp3dt (11 days past ER), it was still negative, and I have no symptoms, other than some very mild ones that can easily be chalked up to the progesterone I'm taking. (No PIO shots this time though - horray!! No more butt shots! Just suppositories!) Usually, I would be freaking out....but I haven't because I remind myself that last time, I would not have received a positive HPT by then. Plus, I cannot be too upset if things do not work - I have been blessed with a child, and I KNOW how lucky I am, and how many people would give their right arm to be in my situation.

So that’s the summary of this cycle so far.....